Monday, January 26, 2009

noisy pipes and shitty apartments

My pipes are clanging. The pipes in my walls in my weird apartments.
I always live in weird apartments.
They are always painted strange, bright colours. I don't paint them. they come that way.
a couple of years ago I lived in Cambridge and my walls were bright neon lime green, then i moved to allston and lived in a strange attic apartment with a loft. I lived there for 12 hours before I was ruthlessly attacked by an army of bed bugs.
I moved out the next day.
a few years ago I lived in Malden in a studio apartment. I called it the broken apartment. everything broke.
The ceiling collapsed. the steam heat blew though the wall and the wall broke.
It had strange prehistoric insects. You got to see different ones every day.
The heating pipes were the worst.
It was the longest winter.
every night it sounded like there were an army of trolls with golf clubs in my walls banging on the pipes like blue man group. I'm not even exaggerating.
Then i moved back to Dorchester.
Now the walls were bright red and I had a roommate.
the walls were fine
the roommate had a bad habit of masturbating in the living room on sundays when i wasn't home.
the problem was I would come home.
it made for awkward moments. especially when i came home with friends.
I moved out.
Now I live in a studio apartment.
Its small.
I call it the boat, because its so small and the ocean is down the street.
it has the smallest bathroom and the bathroom has a plastic folding door.
I usually piss from the kitchen.
Its fun and I can do dishes or cook dinner at the same time.
its all about multi tasking these days
how can i be the most productive
i'm just doing my part
like a good american
not to get sidetracked, but my pipes are clanging again
and I need to pee
and i'm hungry
I think financial success can be marked by how loud your heating pipes are
I think
goodnight

3 comments:

Laura said...

if the loudness of my pipes measures my financial success. well then. I am living at the rock bottom. the pipes are so loud my babies cry.

living the dream in the ghetto. the bricks is where its at.

still.......38.11 years now.

Blue-Xela said...

I experienced the same cacophony at my place near the Banshee. You could always record it and add it as background to one of your tracks.

Bryan Mcpherson said...

I might accidentally record a crime and then get hunted down by the mob and have to move to braintree to hide out and then I would kill myself. It would be terrible.